Prologue - Witch's Rap
In the past, when you were no more than a babe, your father brought his young wife and you to this cottage. They were a handsome couple, but not handsome neighbors. You see, your mother was with child and she had developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden, and told your father that what she wanted, more than anything in the world, was...
Greens, greens, and nothing but greens:
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,
Asparagus and watercress and Fiddleferns and lettuce--!
He said 'all right,' But it wasn't, quite, '
Cause I caught him in the autumn In my garden one night!
He was robbing me, Raping me,
Rooting through my rutabaga, Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion (My champion! My favorite!)--
I should have laid a spell on him right there.
Could have turned him into stone, Or a dog, or a chair,
But I let him have the rampion, I'd lots to spare.
In return, however, I said 'Fair is fair;
You can let me have the baby That your wife will bear.
And we'll call it square.'
Baker: I had a brother?
Witch: No. But you had a sister.
Baker: Where is she?
Witch: Ah ah ah....she's mine now. And you will NEVER find her.
I thought I had been more than reasonable, and that we all might live happily ever after. But how was I to know what your father had also hid in his pocket?! You see, when I had inherited that garden, my mother had warned me that I would be punished if I ever were to lose any of the Beans.
Baker, Wife: Beans?
Witch: The SPECIAL beans.
I let him go, I didn't know He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl Back over the wall--!
And then bang! Crash! And the lightning flash!
And--well, that's another story, Never mind--
Anyway, at last The big day came
I made my claim.
"Oh, don't take away the baby," They shrieked and screeched,
But I did, And I hid her Where she'll never be reached.
Your father cried, And your mother died
When for extra measure-- I admit it was a pleasure--
I said, "Sorry, I'm still not mollified."
And I laid a little spell on them.
You too, son. That your family tree would always be a barren one... [laughs]
So there's no more fuss And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives-- You should see my nectarines!
But I'm telling you the same I tell Kings and Queens:
Don't ever never ever Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans.
Greens, greens, and nothing but greens:
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,
Asparagus and watercress and Fiddleferns and lettuce--!
He said 'all right,' But it wasn't, quite, '
Cause I caught him in the autumn In my garden one night!
He was robbing me, Raping me,
Rooting through my rutabaga, Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion (My champion! My favorite!)--
I should have laid a spell on him right there.
Could have turned him into stone, Or a dog, or a chair,
But I let him have the rampion, I'd lots to spare.
In return, however, I said 'Fair is fair;
You can let me have the baby That your wife will bear.
And we'll call it square.'
Baker: I had a brother?
Witch: No. But you had a sister.
Baker: Where is she?
Witch: Ah ah ah....she's mine now. And you will NEVER find her.
I thought I had been more than reasonable, and that we all might live happily ever after. But how was I to know what your father had also hid in his pocket?! You see, when I had inherited that garden, my mother had warned me that I would be punished if I ever were to lose any of the Beans.
Baker, Wife: Beans?
Witch: The SPECIAL beans.
I let him go, I didn't know He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl Back over the wall--!
And then bang! Crash! And the lightning flash!
And--well, that's another story, Never mind--
Anyway, at last The big day came
I made my claim.
"Oh, don't take away the baby," They shrieked and screeched,
But I did, And I hid her Where she'll never be reached.
Your father cried, And your mother died
When for extra measure-- I admit it was a pleasure--
I said, "Sorry, I'm still not mollified."
And I laid a little spell on them.
You too, son. That your family tree would always be a barren one... [laughs]
So there's no more fuss And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives-- You should see my nectarines!
But I'm telling you the same I tell Kings and Queens:
Don't ever never ever Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans.