This is a topic that is very personal for me, because it's a struggle that I have dealt with for a big portion of my life. Self-mutilation, whether through burning, hitting, cutting, etc. is a form of release for a huge section of people in this world. It brings a sense of power, a sense of self-punishment for mistakes made in life, or current life consequences, and it releases endorphins, which are natural "make-you-feel-good" thingies. I dealt with self-harm my whole life, and started practicing cutting over a decade ago. Now, before you panic, I'm not constant. I've fought against this for the last decade. But even if I beat it, and don't even think about it for years, there are still urges. I guess you could call me an addict, and this is my addiction that I have to overcome. I wouldn't even call it a daily battle. But it's still a battle nonetheless. Especially when life deals some dire circumstances.
The reason for this VERY secret page (believe me, not too many people are going to see it) is to share a song that I've written for this very specific struggle. I wrote it months ago, and only recently recorded it. It's called "The Dark Symphony (Give Me Peace)". It speaks of how I feel any time I struggle with this.
The reason for this VERY secret page (believe me, not too many people are going to see it) is to share a song that I've written for this very specific struggle. I wrote it months ago, and only recently recorded it. It's called "The Dark Symphony (Give Me Peace)". It speaks of how I feel any time I struggle with this.
A blade of frigid steel, waiting to help me feel
And despite my pride, I open wide
A velvet symphony, a monster fighting free
A shadow within, breaking the skin
So let the symphony begin...
Release me from wanting release
Spare me the pain, let it cease
Let all the doubt decrease
And give me peace, give me peace
A canvas of violence, born at my expense
But it felt so free, this desperate me
And in trying to forget, I’m bathed in such regret
I start again, the cycle never ends
So let the symphony begin.
Release me from wanting release
Spare me the pain, let it cease
Let all the doubt decrease
And give me peace, give me peace
And will this dark opus sound
Until I’m sleeping in the ground?
Release me from wanting release
Spare me the pain, let it cease
Let all the doubt decrease
And give me peace, give me peace
And despite my pride, I open wide
A velvet symphony, a monster fighting free
A shadow within, breaking the skin
So let the symphony begin...
Release me from wanting release
Spare me the pain, let it cease
Let all the doubt decrease
And give me peace, give me peace
A canvas of violence, born at my expense
But it felt so free, this desperate me
And in trying to forget, I’m bathed in such regret
I start again, the cycle never ends
So let the symphony begin.
Release me from wanting release
Spare me the pain, let it cease
Let all the doubt decrease
And give me peace, give me peace
And will this dark opus sound
Until I’m sleeping in the ground?
Release me from wanting release
Spare me the pain, let it cease
Let all the doubt decrease
And give me peace, give me peace
